Currently viewing the tag: "learning from relationships"

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Sometimes we “cling-0n” to relationships even though we aren’t getting what we need, even when the other person has moved on.

Letting go of the relationship can trigger our anxiety and abandonment fears as we cling on for dear life.

It’s important to remember that sometimes relationships give us more by ending than continuing. We can learn a lot from what doesn’t work in relationships and take that into our next experience and grow our relational skills exponentially more than we would have if we had remained paralyzed by fear of moving on from a relationship that left us unfulfilled.

IDS RT#19 “Don’t be a cling-on!” Learn when it’s time to move on.

If you rush into relationship after relationship to avoid being alone or lonely, you won’t be truly ready and available to anyone.
What’s the rush? Find yourself first. Take some time to get to know others before you jump in.
You will make better choices and feel more peace and joy.

After you’ve been hurt or disappointed in a few relationships it’s easy to feel like you have to protect yourself from more pain.
If you wall up your heart it will be hard to give out the kind of energy that will attract like-minded and healthy people. It will be hard to trust and enjoy anyone you meet.
The trick is to Keep Your Heart Open but to not get so attached that you can’t walk away when things go badly.
Keep your eyes open, Keep your boundaries, Keep your values and Respect your self.

If you keep falling in love with someone over and over, you know it’s love.
I think sometimes that being in a long term relationship is really like having several marriages.
If you are an ever-evolving person committed to personal and relationship growth, the person you were when you met your partner is not the same person you will be at different points of your life. Neither will they be, hopefully.
When you both have grown and developed different aspects of your selves, have children, have careers, become empty-nesters, etc don’t you look at each other from time to time and say, “Who is this person?”
Aren’t there times you aren’t sure that you even love each other anymore?
Look for the special moments when you look again and say, “Wow! That’s an amazing person! I’m falling in love with them all over again!”

It isn’t OK to offend from the victim position. It is still offending and isn’t a fair fight. If someone hurts you, set a boundary, walk away, ask for what you need….don’t try to hurt them back with the excuse that they did it first.

Having someone to love does not “complete” you.
You are a complete “work in progress” and all you need is someone to love and accept you just the way you are.

Don’t be in such a hurry! Don’t be in such a rush to jump in a relationship so you don’t have to rush to get out.

When you’re feeling hurt by rejection remember that this is just one person. Don’t forget about everyone else who cares for and loves you.

What attracts us to someone is the infatuation, the sex and the great energy. What keeps a relationship going is knowing and loving someone who knows and loves you and being in a relationship where you feel joy.

Don’t confuse being alone with being lonely. You can be alone without being lonely and you can be lonely in a room full of people.

It’s good to learn to be alone and enjoy your own company and it’s good to fill your social life with people who respect you and fill you up instead of draining or ignoring you.

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